Feeling my way through the dark.

I think a lot of the start of any job is feeling around in the dark, trying to figure out what is going on. Eventually, it all becomes normal, and when you look back, you can't quite remember what was confusing or frustrating or a part of the scary unknown. I think I can remember feeling that way at every job I've had. But that doesn't make it easy to get used to. I've got the teaching part figured out--don't get me wrong...I know there's still a LOT to learn and improve upon on my end, but the day-to-day of it and the motions of it haven't been hard to get used to at all. It's the million other things I have to keep in mind during class and afterwards, all the paperwork that has to get done and kept track of, and the rules and regulations of how things are supposed to run--which are not the same in every district or even each school in one district. That can make things tricky.

But, as I've said before, I love my job, I really do. I love the chance to be nerdy all day long. Where else could I tell people for a whole day all about my most favorite subject?! I feel like I've won the lottery here. They can try to change the subject or ignore me all they want, but it doesn't stop me from trying to get them interested or informed about the German-speaking world. Ahh, this is the best. I've spent the past couple of hours planning how to teach and explain the present perfect (don't let that title fool you...it's a past tense form) tomorrow. I know it's nerdy, but I loved it. I guess that's why the overtime of being a teacher is okay...because you're (hopefully) doing what you love.

And the kids keep it fun and funny. Sure, I have lessons where they make me want to pull my hair out. Or it's like pulling teeth to get them to do anything I plan (or, ahem, spontaneously plan...). But generally they're fun. They keep me on my toes with everything (wait, did I really teach them that the plural of Zimmer was Zimmern instead of just Zimmer? no, I'm positive I didn't, Student X...) They have zero fear in asking any question that comes to mind (Today, I was asked in the same lesson if I'd ever been to a nude beach, if I'd ever go to a nude beach, and if I know how to twerk. I really NEVER thought those questions would come up ever...needless to say they were QUITE off-topic questions). They will love you and hate you in the span of ten minutes, but remembering the moments where they're happy to see you is so much better than the other.

So--at the end of another 12+ hour workday, where when I look at the clock and see it's 9:15pm, I feel it's past my bedtime--this is how I'm feeling about life and my job. It certainly has it's ups and downs, and I'm still feeling around in a pitch-black room with a match, but I'm hanging in there just fine.