Resurrecting my blog

I think I go through phases of keeping up with this blog, partially because things become "normal" and there are fewer things I find to write about. Probably partially because I also am busy and find less time to write. 

But here I am, sitting at my desk with a pile of papers, and I thought about posting a facebook status, when I decided it would make a better blog post.

I'm at a new school this year. I liked my old school: my students, my coworkers, etc. But, there were various things I was unhappy with and I started to get the itch to leave. This new job fell into my lap and all the doors opened way too easily to ignore, and it became clear to me that this is what God wanted me to do. When things just fall into place so perfectly, it's hard to deny that it's what you're supposed to do.

I'm happy at my new school. There will probably always be things that you want to change, because no one and nothing is perfect, but the things that I was unhappy with before are things that are different here. It's good.

The only thing that I have been really struggling with is the grading. Not the amount of grading or getting it done, necessarily, but the grading itself. The grading system for world languages at this school district is unlike most districts. Instead of grading on right or wrong, or marking down for things like neatness or turning something in late, the students are graded strictly on proficiency. The wonderful thing about this, is that the grade is based purely on what they are able to produce and comprehend in the target language (in this case, German). It gets rid of the parts of grades related to behavior. The downside of that, is that students don't necessarily turn in their neatest work, and there's nothing you can do about it. Or they turn it in two weeks late, and you can't take off points for that (although you can give a cutoff date of when you'll accept something). 

The hardest part about grading on proficiency is that it is no longer the system of grading by points out of 100. Instead, we read "I can" statements on a rubric and decide where the student falls, and then we give them a number on a scale 1-20 based on where they fall. A "1" means they didn't do it or uttered random words, and a "20" means they are almost as fluent as I am.

"I can understand the main idea and some details in simple texts that contain familiar vocabulary."
"I can understand the main idea and many details in some texts that contain familiar vocabulary."

If this sounds confusing, you are right. If this does not sound objective, you are right. It is hard to be consistent and fair. How do I know that the "6" I gave one student is the same as the "6" I gave another student? Why did this student get a "7" and this student get a "9"? It's tricky and messy and unclear, and I don't do too well with abstract. I like concrete, right/wrong, yes/no. This doesn't mean the grading system is bad, it's just a big adjustment for me. 

I let my grading pile up for weeks, because I had other work to do, but mostly because I was nervous about grading and uncertain about the grades I was giving. I was stressed out and frustrated, and eventually broke down (in both senses--I cried and I stopped resisting) and did the grading. Am I confident in the grades I gave? Not really. Do I feel a little more comfortable about the grading system? Absolutely. Practice makes perfect, and I'll probably never be perfect at this system, but I know the more I do it, the easier it will get. Eventually it will take less time and eventually I will be more consistent and confident in the grades I give.

So, now it's time for me to go and do more grading. :)

The End

It's that time of year again. It's the end of the school year. It flew by, as it always does. And yet, when I think back to the beginning of the year or to various things that happened this year, it seems like it was so long ago. It's funny how time can go so quickly and slowly all at once. I've counted down and thought it would never end, and now that it's here, I can't say I wish it wasn't, but it's still a little sad.

My classroom is packed, my car is (mostly) loaded, save for a few fabric bins and small plastic tubs that need to be carried out, and I've got two half-days left before it's all over. It's strange! When I was anticipating this week last weekend, I thought it would drag by. I thought I would be bored, like last year, and I thought the hours would tick by much slower than they normally do. I kept myself busy with packing and with planning my trip with my brother this summer. Now, I really have nothing left to do, but I still don't feel bored. I think it's because I am trying to enjoy the last moments with the few students still here. Because all the grades are in and stored, that means that most students have stopped coming, and for the most part, the kids that are still here, are the kids that I've really enjoyed and will really miss. I've tried to be intentional in saying goodbye to them, because this time it's not "Tschüss! See you next year!" it's "Tschüss! See you...never again?" It's kind of sad. I know that it happens eventually, even if I stay at the same school, because kids graduate or move away, but somehow that seems a little different.

Yesterday afternoon, at graduation, I knew several of the kids walking across the stage, mostly because I had them last year as juniors. I couldn't help but picture some of the students I've had who will be graduating next year or the year after next, and I won't be there. I know it doesn't really mean anything extra to them that I'm there, because I have to be there, but it's fun to see them before and after the ceremony and give them a hug and congratulations. There are some students that have been difficult, but have shown me their sweet side and I have grown attached and accustomed to seeing them grow up. I guess that's the hard part of this job.

Some teachers say they don't care about the students or what they think, but I'm not one of them. I don't find fulfillment in whether they like me or my class and I don't take it personally when they don't like me or my class, but I do care about my students and enjoy seeing them grow from little 9th graders to little adults. And I enjoy getting to know them personally, to an extent. I don't consider them friends by any stretch of the imagination, and I'm not interested in seeing them outside of school, but I do like the times when they open up, whether it's in class or after school tutoring, and I get to see who they really are. They're more than just a desk or a brain to put information in.

There will never be a time that would be perfect or easy to leave, since there will always be students I care about and enjoy having (and if there comes a time when that's not true, I better be considering another profession, because if I don't love the people I'm working with, then what am I even doing here? This job would be absolutely miserable if I didn't enjoy the students).

I'm excited for what's to come, but nervous at the same time. Leaving and starting somewhere new means a whole lot of new. I'll have to battle the mentality of "but the other teacher did it this way" all over again, I'm sure, but I think (hopefully!) it will be better the second time around. And this time, I'm sure that there will be some of that in reverse too, as much as I don't want my students to give someone else grief. 

Maybe I'm being dramatic or sentimental, but I think that's allowed sometimes :)

The Final Countdown

It's May! This means that there are a significantly limited number of days until the last day of school. And while I most definitely have a countdown going until summer (no alarms for 6 am, an abundance of time to scrapbook, nights without hopeful bedtimes of 9pm [although I do love early bedtimes regardless of the time of year], and European travels with my brother and the Swiss wedding of my Eurobestie!), I still struggle a little with knowing that this is goodbye to several students I really enjoy teaching. Last year, I was sad knowing I wouldn't be teaching most of last year's students this year, but I knew I'd still see them around. This time, it's likely I won't just see them around next year. 

But I'm excited for next year. It's always hard at the end of the year to remember your excitement for the beginning of the year, since everything has piled up since the beginning of the current year and I'm more often annoyed or frustrated with students than not. But I know, after 2-ish months of summer, I'll feel refreshed and find my excitement again :)

Following the Bigger Plan

A few weeks ago, I happened upon a job posting on a nearby school district for a German teaching position. It's not that I am miserable at my current school, but there are some things I don't like (that will happen anywhere, I know), which was enough to apply for the job out of curiosity.

After a string of bad days at school a while back, I had daydreamed about finding another job and prayed a couple of times for options. That's pretty common for teachers, and probably for anyone who's had a bad day at work: to daydream about other schools or other professions--for example, where asking a student to write 8 sentences doesn't return with a mountain of complaints and whining or where more than two (of the 21 students) turn in their projects ON the due date. (I mean, I'm not being overly ambitious right?)

So I applied. And I prayed that if this were meant to be, if I were meant to switch schools, that all of the doors be opened. And if it weren't, for all the doors to be closed--no interviews or job offers or anything.

A couple of weeks after applying, I got a phone call for an interview. I wasn't able to interview at the time they requested--a potential hurdle--but they easily offered a different time that I was able to make. I anxiously awaited the interview and mentally rehearsed potential responses and prayed again that if this were meant to be, that all the doors be opened.

The Wednesday came, and I left school a little early (with permission, during my planning period) and headed for the interview. I was interviewed by four people (the principal, an assistant principal, the current German teacher with whom I would be working, and the head of the foreign language department). They took turns asking me questions and the German teacher interviewed me in German for a few minutes. After I left, I didn't feel like it went particularly well or particularly badly--I just felt neutral about it. I was still interested in the job, of course, but I didn't have any inkling of how the interview went from their perspective. They said they'd be deciding within the next couple of weeks, so I decided just to wait it out and continue to pray for doors to be opened if it was meant to be.

The next afternoon, I got a phone call from the principal offering me the job. This was a shocker, since she had told me they'd be deciding in a couple of weeks. I guess they had two more interviews in the 24 hours after my interview, but decided I was the one they wanted to offer the position to. I didn't want to be hasty, even though all the doors had clearly been opened as easily as possible, so I took the weekend to think about it and pray about it. I made a pro and con list, and although there wasn't an overwhelming pro or con to either side, I felt more pulled to this new school. I felt like this was where God was leading me, and that it was literally an answer to many prayers this year. So I accepted the job :)

Again, it's not that I am miserable where I'm at right now, but there are things that I am hoping will be better at my new school. This year has not been a miserable year--in fact, in terms of my teaching, I feel like I've improved since last year and found a rhythm that works--but it has been challenging in various other ways. I'm excited and nervous for this new transition (as with it comes new people, new rules, new curriculum, and a new living situation [TBD]), but more excited nervous than scared nervous.

Praise God for His timing and His plan that is bigger and better than the one I have for myself!

The seasons of life

It's been a while since I last wrote, and I've thought a lot about what to write, but nothing big has come to mind. Life keeps moving on, and school life has become somewhat normal, so there isn't much newness to write about there.

Let's see, since last time I wrote, I spent Christmas with my grandparents and sister in Florida. It was a lovely break with surprisingly warm weather. Not that warm weather is surprising for Florida, but I wasn't expecting it to be QUITE as warm as it was. I got a lot of scrapbooking done (although it's never enough!!) and got to spend quality time with my family, which is all I wanted for the holidays!

I went to Chosen, the women's conference through my church, at the end of January, and was spiritually filled up and refreshed. It's so great to be surrounded by God-loving women for a couple of days, and to be poured into by the women around you and the fantastic speakers. It was so much fun, and so needed, and I can't wait for next year. Thanks to my mom (early birthday present!), I've already bought my ticket--and even my sister will be joining me next year!

In one of the messages at church after the New Year, and in one of the messages from a speaker at Chosen, a Word of the Year was mentioned. This is a word that represents your coming year--either what you want your year to reflect or something you want to change. I went to the website (getoneword.com) hoping there'd be a quiz or questionnaire to fill out and my word would be given to me, but it's not that simple--because it has to be individual and much more personal than a 15-question quiz, or whatever I was expecting. The more I thought about it, the more the word "Brave" came to mind. Honestly, I think this is a word that reflects my life. I wouldn't exactly call myself a brave person, but there are a lot of situations or life events where I have had to be brave--in little and big ways. Sometimes I don't even realize it was brave until afterwards--like moving to a foreign country without knowing anyone. So I think my word for this year is brave--that I need to not be so afraid of things and take some risks that I might normally resist.

Another life word I've consistently come back to is "Patience." I would call myself a patient person in most aspects of my life. My one exception would be driving. I am an impatient driver (although I don't take it out in my driving, I can be known to yell at drivers from the quiet inside of my car.), but in probably all other ways, I'm pretty patient. Life is full of seasons, which is a metaphor I've loved especially in the past couple of years. Some seasons are short and some are long; some seasons are great and some are greatly difficult. Regardless of the season, I know that God has a plan for my life and a purpose for the season. Sometimes I find myself impatient in a season, whether that's the speed of getting into a season or the speed of getting out of one, and I'm constantly reminded that I need to be patient, because God's timing is perfect and His plan for me is on a much better timetable than my own. It's been proven over and over again, and yet it's still not always easy to be patient. And sometimes I need to be patient and brave, especially brave in trusting in God's plan. It's hard to be brave and patient, but I'm trying.

Thankful for the breaks

I feel like I start every blog post off with a Whoops and apology for not posting in so long. September dragged by, but boy did October and November fly. And now we're one week into December and gearing up for winter break. I sure did lose track of time. 

Part of why I haven't posted in so long is because things feel a little more stable and normal, and part of it is because things are just busy. This job is never dull and there's always more to do, but in the day-to-day I'm not encountering anything I've thought was funny or interesting enough to write a whole post about. I mean, the students say and do crazy things (like insist I have 50 cats, or tell me about random abnormal pets they'd like to have) but nothing really hilarious so far. 

It's hard to believe this year is nearly half over already. As I think back to this time last year, I know I was marveling at the same thing. I was drowning in grading, struggling to keep my students motivated and engaged in each lesson, all while struggling to keep myself motivated and engaged. With Christmas break drawing nearer and nearer, the motivation level and attention span of even the best students drops rapidly. And yet, we chug along, trying our hardest and putting big X's on our mental calendars as the final bell rings each day. 

It's funny, because we just got off Thanksgiving break, so you'd think we'd be refreshed. But instead that little taste of a break only makes us anticipate Christmas break more. 

I did have a lovely, albeit fast and busy Thanksgiving break. I went to an AP training in IN on Tuesday, and then drove home to MI. Wednesday was full of appointments and errands, as well as an always-anticipated visit with my great-grandmother. Thursday was my only "downtime" day, where I lounged around with my mom, only leaving the house to see Mockingjay (no Black Friday shopping here!). On Friday and Saturday, I was in Grand Rapids for my best friend's wedding. It was a fantastic weekend and a beautiful wedding. I felt honored to stand up in her wedding, and although there was minimal bestie time, like I usually get, it was a perfect and wonderful weekend! (My phone wanted to correct wonderful to WONDERFUL. Apparently it was just THAT good!) Then I drove back to SC on Sunday, which took far too long, and started back to school on Monday. 

And now I'm looking forward, to a week and a half in Florida with my grandparents and my sister (yay!!) for Christmas and then New Year's back here. Less than two weeks to go...less than two weeks to go. 

2015 is just around the corner. I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions or over-anticipating whatever the new year holds, but I am ready to start writing 2015 instead of 2014 on my classroom white board ;)

Ich wünsche euch eine schöne Weihnachtszeit und einen guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr <3 

The First Quarter

Somehow September dragged by, yet I failed to update this blog!

It's finally October and officially Fall, which means I'm officially homesick for a good, Michigan Fall. The colors, the crisp Autumn air, the boots and scarves and sweaters, and apple picking with hot cider and donuts. I can't say I miss Michigan Winter, but man do I love Fall. The weather here in the past couple of days has started to cool off, but it could be just a teaser. We'll see :)

Next week marks the end of the first quarter. Exams begin, grades will be entered...and somehow that means we're one-fourth of the way done with the school year. Although I said September went by slowly, it's hard to believe that we're nearly a quarter done. It always sneaks up on me. 

In this next quarter, I'm looking forward to going to an AP training in Indiana right before Thanksgiving break, and then I'll be going home for my best friend's wedding. I'm really looking forward to both of those things, but obviously for very different reasons. :)

School is going well; it's just busy as always. I'm behind on grading, but loving teaching everything for the second time. Just like last year, I'm already thinking of ways to improve for next year. It's so great getting a "redo" on what you do, every single year. It's great being able to perfect lessons and bring new ideas and innovations into them. 

One wonderful thing we've gotten at our school are laptops for the students. I don't know all the details of logistics and whatnot, but by the end of next school year, all students will have their own laptop to use in class. The current freshmen received theirs and sophomores are next. Next year will be seniors and new freshmen. I don't know how the order of the rollout was decided, but that's that. As an unexpected bonus, each teacher also got a laptop to use, so now I can incorporate that technology into the classroom, and be able to test it out/demonstrate it myself. My freshmen students have only had them for a week and are already asking when we'll use them in our classes. I don't have any classes of all one grade level, so current integration is a challenge, but definitely a good challenge to have!

As far as my life outside of school goes, I'm trying to have more non-school related things going on in my life. I've set a goal to leave school earlier than last year and spend less time on school stuff in general. I am in a new small group of "young professionals" (mostly young, single, 20-somethings in college or new in the workforce) and I really enjoy it. It's a really great mix of people and the church-wide study we're doing is really good! 

Well, I've got some quizzes and projects to grade for tomorrow. Til next time :)